Part of the Christian Kyriarchy Project
Last updated 5/17/2024
1. Conservative Christians often present marital sex as mandatory, and consider sexless marriages a sign of failure, even if the people involved don't want sex. Women (because it's assumed men want sex more than women) may be told they're selfish or unreasonable if they don't have sex with their husband whenever he wants.
Uncritical examples
”I want a husband, but no sex. Is that possible?” by Candice Watters | Boundless (April 2013)
Archived on Wayback Machine and Archive.today
A Christian View Of Romance | Global Christians (scroll down to the ”Sexuality” section, which is of course full of homoantagonistic crap)
Archived onWayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Sex Is a Relational Need by Juli Slattery | Focus On The Family (January 2009)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 2 - Is It Just About Sex for the Man? | Love & Respect
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Is It Reasonable to Say ”No” to Oral Sex? | Intimacy In Marriage (December 2011)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Premarital Sex is SO Detrimental to Marriage | The Transformed Wife (March 2019)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Livid at the Evangelical Sub-Culture & Its Epidemic of Sexless Marriages | Musings Of A Hardlining Moderate (February 2014)
Archived on Wayback Machine
Your Husband's Sexuality is a Gift From God to You | The Transformed Wife (June 2019)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
1 Corinthians 7:5 by The Transformed Wife | Twitter (December 2018)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
The Benefits of Being a Sexually Obedient Wife | Biblical Sexology (June 2020)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Coping with Sexual Anorexia and Aversion by Rob Jackson, MS, LPC, LMHC, NCC | Pure Intimacy (dated 2004, suggests that CSA victims who are sex averse are obligated to get over it for the sake of their marriage and speaks negatively of spouses who choose masturbation and porn over potentially pressuring their traumatized partner)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive (the latter archives contain porn ads)
Sexual Responsibility: A Look at 1 Corinthians 7 | The Marriage Bed (earliest archive is from November 2005)
Archived on Wayback Machine and Archive.today
10 Rules of Sex For Wives | Biblical Sexology (May 2021)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Sex Is Important in Marriage by Sheila Wray Gregoire | Bare Marriage (October 2023)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Commentary
”You Are Not Your Own:” Only Selfish Wives Say No | Sarah Over The Moon (September 2013)
Conservative Christians Teach That Wives Are REQUIRED To Have Sex Even When They Don't Want To. Here Are The Receipts. | Tell Me Why The World Is Weird (August 2019)
A little more on the ”selfish wives” that say no. | Sarah Moon (September 2013)
Takeaways from conservative Christian sex manuals | The Ace Theist (March 2017)
Asexuality and One View of a Religion? (TW homophobia) | foolishfiish and greenchestnuts
The Great Sex Rescue: The Chapter Where It's Not Okay To Be Asexual | Tell me why the world is weird (December 2023)
CEP: Suddenly, Transmisogyny | The Ace Theist (May 2014)
The Answer To Sexual Shame is Not MORE Sexual Shame, Carson T. Clark | Sarah Over The Moon (March 2014)
CEP: The Next Triad of Replies | The Ace Theist (May 2014)
The Great Sex Rescue: Be Normal! | Tell me why the world is weird
2. These examples have additional cruelty like suggesting women having sex they don't want are in the wrong for doing so "grudgingly" or are expected to have kids but aren't allowed to be too tired for sex after caring for them.
Uncritical examples
How Your Husband Feels When You're Too Tired For Sex | Shaunti Feldhahn (June 2019)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
How a husband can enjoy sex that is grudgingly given by his wife | Biblical Gender Roles (October 2015)
Archived on Wayback Machine, Archive.today, and Ghost Archive
Commentary
How Pregnancy and Childbirth Changed My Asexuality (or, actually, A Post About Vaginismus) | Tell me why the world is weird (March 2021)
Further information
Sex is Not a Vitamin | The Ace Theist (January 2015)
Vaginismus Is Not A Problem, In And Of Itself | Tell me why the world is weird (March 2023)